ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTOR

Ruth Thirtle
Ruth Thirtle RUTH THIRTLE is a relationship marketing experts who loves nothing more than to see people transform into even more successful versions of themselves. Ruth made the leap from the corporate world to business ownership in 2007 after 15 years of management, sales and recruitment experience when she realised that she had more to offer to business owners than she could deliver as an employee. Ruth is all about “Inspiring Profitable Conversations” and an in-demand speaker. She has individual business coaching clients both in Australia and the UK. She is also a contributing author in The Law of Attraction in Action and The Power of 100 books and a regular contributor to the Business Blogging Network.

Ruth Thirtle has written 13 article(s) for us.

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Business Relationships on Reflection

September 13, 2012 | Ruth Thirtle

Finding common ground in business relationships can be very difficult sometimes. Learn a new way to break down barriers and find similarities you never would have thought of.
Finding common ground in business relationships can be very difficult sometimes. Learn a new way to break down barriers and find similarities you never would have thought of.

People are often mirrors of ourselves in some way – whether we like it or not. What I mean by that is, we see in other people a reflection of ourselves. However, sometimes we do not always realise that is what we are seeing and if we do, we sometimes don’t like it.

Have you ever heard someone complain about someone else and the phrase “pot calling the kettle black” has sprung to mind?

The truth is that we do attract people to us who are like us – and even if we are just meeting someone for the first time, the fact is that we will notice the traits in others that reflect traits in ourselves. I will often notice quite quickly if someone is bossy and that will grate with me – because that is a trait I have been told that I exhibit and try to control.

Now I am not saying that any of this is good or bad, it just is!

The point is, in the context of business relationships, how can we utilise this and use it to our advantage?

There are three main advantages, I believe, to recognising the mirror effect when it comes to building effective business relationships to grow your business.

  • When you meet people there will be times that you do not like some traits that you perceive to be negative. By recognising that there could be a bit of the mirror effect in play, you will be able to look beyond that negative trait and have a second chance at seeing what the person is all about.

You may still not do business with them as, let’s face it, you don’t do, or want to do business with everyone but it does prevent snap judgments.

  • When you start to notice a pattern in the traits you are noticing in other people you may be able to observe objectively the traits that people may be seeing in you.

Now this can help you to make changes you wish to make so that you are not exhibiting the traits you see to be negative. However, it can also be a good thing to notice the positive light that people may be seeing you in.

  • One of the biggest things, I believe, about recognising people are a reflection of us is that we can look deeper at the person and connect on a greater level. I choose to believe that on some level we are all human beings with good intentions. Acknowledging that I often see my reflection in people allows me to find the common ground quicker and therefore form better business relationships more quickly.

Business relationships that are based on mutual benefit!

So how do you know if you are seeing traits in someone else because of this mirror? When I am interacting with people I will often be asking myself these 5 questions to help me with that, which in turn help me to see how I can relate better.

  1. Why is what this person doing causing a reaction in me?
  2. What do I need to notice that could help me to see more similarity with this person?
  3. What is it that I am seeing here that could show me how people perceive me?
  4. How is this person really showing me their intention?
  5. What would happen if I noticed the traits that I am seeing in the other person in myself? Would that serve me better in business?

These questions help me to be aware of what I am seeing in other people and how people may be seeing me.

I am certainly not saying be bland or vanilla and blend all of the traits that stand out. What I am saying is to be careful that you are not judging other people because of things that you do or don’t like in yourself.

“There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we’ve chosen to go.”  Richard Bach