Mobile Phones – Social Faux Pas

Well, I could call you Dorothy but (thankfully) I’ve never seen you dressed in green with large yellow polka dots so I reckon I’ll stick with Lynette…

And I’m with you 100% Lynette – I also find that I don’t have much inclination to re-connect with people who cannot disconnect from their mobile phones and have a proper face-to-face conversation when they are in company.

I don’t think too many people like to feel that they are unimportant and not worth talking to or spending time with when they have set aside time to connect with someone (or a group of people) in person – and that is how I feel when someone chooses to answer mobile phone calls and reply to text messages or even worse, make phone calls and send messages. And surprisingly enough, some people will do this repeatedly in a short period of time.

Yes, you have probably picked up that I find it very annoying too!

Hello Lynette

I think times are changing. Once, I would have said I would have been disturbed if when delivering a presentation the audience were constantly on their mobile devices. Now, I see it as a compliment if individuals are using social media to extend the audience of a speaker. Social media is an important communication tool, which has very powerful reach.

Furthermore, a ‘typical’ workday of 9.00 – 5.00 no longer exists in today’s fast-paced environment. We have tools that enable us to be connected and responsive 24/7 and many consumers/ clients expect a response time frame that aligns with modern technology.

Whilst I agree that tools must be in place to manage our connectivity, I do not believe it can be ignored. Relationships now have the capacity to develop and foster in both the online and offline environment and individuals need to determine the correct mix for them and their business.

Personally, I enjoy the benefits that technology brings to my professional and personal relationships however I also understand the need to display courtesy to my host or companions and would adjust my own behaviour (to a reasonable extent) to consider the needs of others.

Hi Lynette,
I saw your message on the way home on the train and couldn’t wait to get home to throw my two cents into the ring. I agree with you 1000000%. Well maybe I’m exaggerating a little here. I find it completing rude and showing lack of respect to me when people do this. Funny I was just speaking to my husband about the same thing this morning. I recently went to a networking group social meeting which I was attending for the first time and yes some of the people were talking to me as they were looking down at their mobile sending a text message. Needless to say after having this happen by a few other people and observing it happening throughout the group, I decided that it wasn’t a good fit for me. Even funnier, when I excused myself, I actually was quite rude and left saying “well I can clearly see that your are busy with your mobile rather than speaking with me, so I will take my leave”. The response (without even looking up from the mobile), ok thanks for coming. Clearly this person not only had no interest in connecting with the people around her, but wasn’t even listening to what was being said. I will now get off my soapbox!!!

Absolutely agree with this total lack of social etiquette Lynette. It shows there communication skills are immature and rude to others, and I would certainly embarrass them with a direct comment to jolt their bad manners….

I completely agree Lynette. You can’t network if you are concentrating on your mobile phone. It’s very interesting to hear about the study on the way people feel just seeing the mobile phones… and I must admit that I have had an uneasy feeling that you’re not really a priority when you see the phone present during a meeting. It feels like you have to talk fast to keep their attention from the waiting phone!
Heather

I agree totally Karan the use of social media etc. during presentation situations. It’s opened and entirely new world for all of us to share information and I too enjoy the technology advancements. However in this case I was not referring to making presentations to a group. I was referring to one-on-one interactions and the use of mobile phones during those meetings or dinners. Most people feel distanced from a guest who can’t extract themselves from their mobile device and the report backs this up. But in the end it is about making decisions as to who you spend time with and after a few sessions with those who make you feel as though you are doing coffee or a meal with them and their 2,000 closest friends the decision becomes easier for most of us.

My PhD research investigated the psychological factors influencing young people’s (15 – 25) use of mobile phones. What I found really interesting (and sad in a way) is the sense of belonging and self-worth that many people place on being able to be in constant contact with others. So the challenge is to really encourage people to appreciate connecting with a smaller number of people and to focus on the ones they are with rather than to get self-esteem and self-worth from larger social networks. This is not easy these days when so many people value having a large number of ‘friends’ on facebook etc.

Agree with all those comments — it’s just plain rude! If something is worth doing (meeting with someone), then do it properly.

The technology we have is today’s version of sitting at a table, talking with someone, but checking out every single person as they walk past, “in case they’re more interesting”. What a message to send! “You’re important…but if I see someone more important, I’ll be off to talk to them instead, that okay with you?”!

Seriously, it’s like being at a party as a teenager….

iPhones, iPads, etc. are great tools; use them properly!

Great article Lynette and I must remember to hide my mobile next time I am wanting to impress.