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Links > Business Articles > Life Support >

Stop The Why Me and Build Resilience

By: Cate Howard, Director, Clarity and Balance Counselling | Sunday 5 March, 2017

So life is throwing you some lemons; in fact it is literally hurling them at you! Job loss, cancer, divorce, weight issues and depression, these are just some of hurdles we encounter during our life time. In this article, CATE HOWARD share some vital tips on staying resilient and the importance of never giving up. 

Stop and breathe! It is easier said than done right? Yes, a situation can be overwhelming, but all you need to remember is that you’re NOT the only one going through this. 

Whether or not it is your personal life or your business life, the principles for coping are exactly the same.

Let’s face it, sometimes in life unfortunate and unpleasant things just happen. By facing up to these events and meeting them head on you actually build more internal resilience and strength.

As the saying goes - everything that is going wrong in your life right now is actually a blessing in disguise. It is an opportunity to grow and transform and become something or someone you have always wanted to be.

The basic tools for coping:

Acceptance – accepting the cards that have been dealt, instead of asking “Why me?” 

Planning – start making a plan. Ask yourself who am I really and what do I want from my life? Having your plan in writing where you can refer to it is a very powerful tool.

Ask for help – don’t be afraid. Too often we think we are the only ones going through something and we are embarrassed. Remember that others love to help; you just need to let them in.

Nurture yourself – go for a walk, join a team and eat good, wholesome, nutritious food. If you feel good inside, you look good on the outside. Put a smile on that dial even when you don’t feel like it.

Meditate – the proof is out there about how good this is for stress and concentration. It just takes discipline.

Mindfulness – the Buddhist concept of mindfulness is a good reminder that we only have today. In fact, we really only have this minute. Tomorrow is still in the future. Stop catastrophising about things that may never actually happen.

Be your own best friend – until you learn to like and love yourself, you are never going to be able to fulfil that position in anyone else’s life.
Congratulate yourself – it takes courage to start over and reach for a better life. Many people never even try. Their fear, insecurity and lack of belief in their own personal power holds them hostage. If your business and personal life are not good now, imagine being stuck there forever. Acknowledge, thank and appreciate yourself for being brave enough to try. 

In order to stay positive and focused, try to recognise the following behaviours that might impact your progress negatively:

Negative patterns – try to recognise patterns of behaviour that are going to make the situation worse e.g. retail therapy. When has buying anything brought about long term health and happiness?
Negative people, sometimes even well-meaning family and friends, don’t always know what is right for you. Follow your own path and your own dream.

Don’t live in the past – this moment is the best opportunity you have to create a more fulfilling life. If you review some of the mistakes that were made in the past, make sure you learn from them, but don’t beat yourself up over them. 

Remember there will be good days and there will be the blackest and worst days. Try and sit with the pain of those awful days and acknowledge it, accept it and realise that it will pass. Sometimes we need to reach rock bottom before we can get back up again.

Have the confidence to know that if you are true to yourself, kind to others and are genuine in your interactions you cannot help but attract amazing people and experiences into your life!
BE YOU, be authentic, be your own best friend.

This is the recipe for a wonderful happy life and building the resilience you will need to make your life and business a success.


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