How the Perfectionist Speaks Up
In our recent post, we discussed the importance of being able to speak up. In my Communication DNA model I teach of the 4 communication DNA styles. The Powerful, Playful, Patient and Perfectionist. In today’s post I will outline how the Perfectionist Communication DNA style deals with the idea of speaking up. Their struggle is different to the Powerful, Playful & Patient Communicator but their struggle is real and can affect Communication.
The Perfectionist Communicator, they are ordered, logical, natural planners and love to get things correct. They always strive for things to be RIGHT and love to correct and see that things are completed to every minute detail. They naturally are attracted to positions of technical expertise and detail. Why? Because they love to tick boxes, achieve high quality and prefer tasks to people. They do not want to centre of attention or focus, they are happy to be in the background ensuring is correct.
This Communicator really struggles to speak for fear of being judged or being incorrect, but they will speak up the feel something is really wrong. They are so sensitive to detail that they sometimes offend when they correct. They may say things like, “this is the best way”, or ‘that is not correct” or “the policies say that it should be done this way”. Let’s face it most of us don’t like to be corrected. But they do it to help.
The struggle they face is that to them correcting means they are helping and they do not understand why people get offended and upset with them. They can struggle with change if it may mean doing things differently especially if things work the old way. They do not like change for changes sake. So for the Perfectionist Communicator, Speaking up can be a real challenge, they offend and upset people and they just don’t understand why.
The unaware Perfectionist Communicator can offend when they speak up. They get focused on the task aspects not the people side so can come across as picky, critical, stuck on detail and of course perfectionists. In the workplace this can slow down progress especially if you are after progress not perfection.
The sad thing is this is not the intention of the Perfectionist communicator at all. They correct because they want to help, they long to help, but like us all they are only human too.
What can you do?
If you relate to this, you have so many strengths so don’t feel like this is bad news…. Not at all, in fact only a few small tweaks are needed to improve the results so you can safely speak up.
Firstly, be aware that people may not like being corrected so you need to be a little softer in your critique. Also others do not value being right as much as you do. Offer your opinion, but do not give it unless it is welcomed.
Be aware that no one is ever right all of the time, even you…..Also that perfection is impossible so your expectation will need to be made more realistic after all we live in a very imperfect world. Perhaps consider changing your mantra to “progress over perfection”.
If you are struggling with a Perfectionist Communicator remember their intention is to improve things and do not take their quiet reserved agreeable nature to heart. Don’t be frustrated with their struggle they just want you to like them.
Next time we will delve into what can make people difficult. I am sure you will find this very helpful.
Until then Care Connect and be a Conscious Communicator. Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.