De-stress & Mindfulness Tips 1-3
In our busy, busy lives our heads can quickly become filled with the white noise of our list of musts, shoulds, and shouldn’ts. No matter how much is ticked off your To Do list, there’s always more. There’s that underlying, nagging feeling that you should be able to do it all, you should be enough, and you are not. The louder the white noise, the harder it is to focus, be productive, patient and, heaven forbid, actually relax and enjoy life’s adventures.
Here is the first of a series of mindset tips to help you relax, de-stress and take back control.
- Stop the overwhelm: You might think it is an automatic function, however when you are stressed you will hold your breath at times, or breath shallowly, meaning your brain misses the oxygen it needs to help you think clearly and calmly. There begins the downward spiral of stress to overwhelm.
Tip: Breathe in for a count of 3, out for a count of 6, counting in your own way so it is even. On the steady out breath, allow yourself to feel a letting go all the way down to your toes. (Warning, don’t do this with a full bladder!) This gets rid of the excess stale air in the bottom of your lungs. After you start feeling calmer, change to an even in for 6, out for 6. This is called Balanced Breathing and it resets you from head to toe.
- Be present. On the whole, our fears are imaginary, based on thoughts about the past or future. Only the present moment is actually real. You might need to remind yourself of this in conjunction with the breathing tip.
Tip: Remind yourself, as much as you need, “Right here, right now, I’m safe.” (If you are not, get out of there now and ask for help. Genuine love does not include abuse in any form, unless you are both consenting adults in a S&M relationship!)
- Avoid anxiety. Anxiety is a build of fears from too much imagining of the worst. If you over-achieve in anxiety you’ll be rewarded with a panic attack. The key is to prevent a further build-up of fears. If you need expert help to safely clear the excess fear from your system, without re-living past trauma, just ask me. You deserve a happy life.
Tip: Any time you catch yourself saying “What if?” in a negative way, remind yourself it isn’t real, existing only in your imagination. Then ask yourself, “What if it doesn’t happen like that? How will that feel?” Imagine the opposite, positive outcome, and feel the excitement, confidence, pride etc. Your tense mind and body will relax, and it will easier to take that action you need.
Like any new knowledge and skill, the more you practice these, the better results you’ll achieve, and the easier you’ll deal with stressful situations. Look for Tips 4-6 next month.