Do YOU Ever Struggle To Communicate?
Have you ever struggled to understand someone, their reaction or their behaviour? Have you ever wondered “why did they do or say that?” If you are like me it is almost every day!
Why do we struggle to communicate? Despite communication being cornerstone to our relationships most of us have never been taught to communicate really well. Have a think about it who taught you to listen, deal with people you don’t understand, apologise authentically and sincerely, give feedback, have a tricky conversation, motivate someone into action. Where do we learn this? This sad thing is that many people never do.
Every single one of these skills is necessary for life, for healthy relationships. Imagine how many friendships may have lasted through the years if we knew how to apologise, how many marriages would make it if we knew how to listen, how to bring up difficult issues. 1 in 3 marriages ends in divorce in Australia right now with this rate increasing with second and third marriages. Why? I believe it is because we are not learning our lessons, our needs understanding our baggage, learning about our Communication DNA.
Now this isn’t just at home this is happening at work all of the time. Research from gallup showed thats up to 95% of employees leave bosses not jobs. If I had a dollar for every time an employee said to me “we need your help but the boss will never be open to it,” don’t be one of those people.
I remember as I sat in the loo listening to half of my team gossip about me and what they didn’t like about my communication skills as a manager I had a choice. Do I blame them and say its their problem, or do I suck it up listen and learn from this? What if they were right? Even 20% of what they said, I didn’t want to be that person they were describing.
How would people describe you if you weren’t in the room? Would they say you were bossy, a control freak? Would they say you were shallow and talk too much? Would they say you were spineless and a scaredy cat, or would they say you were an impossible perfectionist?
I am describing each of the Communicators based on the Communication DNA model, each of us falls in to at least one of those traps. Which one affects you? Which do you struggle with? The likelihood is that you struggle with the style most different from you. For the Perfectionist it’s the Playful communicator, for the Patient it’s the Powerful communicator. These are the style we have least in common with. However, it is guaranteed that you will have lived with, parented, been parented by or worked with this style, that’s life.
So why not learn about yourself, what makes you unique, what your needs are your strengths are, what will drive you nuts, but also learn about the people in your world, at home, socially and professionally. I guarantee you your world will improve beyond imagination. You deserve it.
Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator and change the world for the better, one conversation at a time.