No Need To Dread Christmas
If you’re not feeling the Christmas spirit, it’s OK, and you are perfectly normal! The imagery we see in Australia of what Christmas ‘should’ be is based on the American commercial ideal, and bears very little connection to reality. (Especially the snowy bit!)
Unfortunately, many see the huge gap between the glossy imagery of blithely happy families in excessive consumerism and perfection and their own reality as a sign that they have failed in some way, and are the minority. Hence the high suicide, domestic violence, road ‘accidents’ and elderly deaths during the festive season, which in turn add a bitter-sweet feeling to their loved ones’ next Christmas, and so life goes on.
If you don’t believe in the religious origin of Christmas, then check in with what is really important to you at this time of year. Let the Past be in the Past – it no longer exists except in your memory – and focus on what you’d most enjoy during your hard earned holiday. What would make your heart sing, and create a happy memory for you and yours? What would be fun? How can you best recharge so you’re ready for 2017?
If you don’t want to spend time with unpleasant relatives you don’t have to – yes, there might be consequences, but weigh them up against the pleasure of celebrating your way. Rather than wallow in Hurts of Christmas Past, find ways to create new happy memories for your family, especially your children, and yourself now. Allow others to change, just as you have.
Some people measure your love by the gifts you buy, many don’t, and would prefer a long relaxing conversation, to do a fun activity, or just the chance to hang out together like you’ve been promising all year. Find out who needs gifts, make them meaningful rather than a chore or resentment, and be creative in other ways of connecting with those who matter. Re-read my free e-book Win-Win Loving for tips on working out who has which love strategy.
If you are the host, allow others to help, even in the tiniest tasks, as it is a way of helping them feel included, gives them the pleasure of giving, and you the pleasure of receiving. Like compliments, offers of help are a gift, so accept and appreciate.
Christmas and New Year’s Eve may not be the magical experience portrayed in the media, but your festive season can still be an enjoyable time of connection and fun with those who matter. And you matter.
