11 Top Tips For Surviving The Family Christmas Gathering
Love them or hate them, they are your family, but just because it is the festive season doesn’t mean they will suddenly become that perfect family you see portrayed in the media.
You’ve worked hard this year, so ensure you can relax and recharge during the festive season by following these relationship management tips:
- Leave the Past where it belongs, your version of it only exists in your imagination. Expecting others to remember exactly as you do, agree with your perspective and even apologise is setting yourself up for serious disappointment. Learn from the experience and stop causing you pain by reliving it.
- If you are going to imagine a future event or conversation, a “What if?”, make it how you’d LIKE it to be. Feel the difference. This sets you up for a better outcome as you have focussed on positive solutions, not verbal hand grenades and protective barriers. Rather than immediately bristle into attack or defensive mode when they walk into the room you’ll stay neutral.
- Know that people do change over time, and it’s OK if you no longer think the same. It simply means your values have changed, and that makes neither of you wrong, just different.
- No need to get into heated arguments, just say, “Interesting point of view” (no sarcasm please). Then change the subject, offer to refresh the drinks, or take a toilet break. You are both right in your own realities.
- Whoever gets angry loses. Angry drunks are the biggest losers. If you are quick to explode or implode, then you need to seek help before the festive season to shed that excess negative emotion and allow yourself to remain calmly assertive.
- Remember the wise words of Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” Be aware of how your self-talk is programming you to act, e.g. as a shy person, or as a weak-willed person who ‘can’t say no’ to chocolate or another drink. Is your unconscious blueprint ™ empowering or disempowering you, and others?
- If you want others to treat you better, you’ll need to treat yourself better first. Reset and maintain your boundaries, say ‘No’. Be prepared for any initial resistance by being clear on why it is important to you, and have potential alternative solutions for them.
- Be aware of love languages, and that gifts are crucial to some, while others feel more loved when you spend time in conversations or make time to visit and give hugs. How do you most feel loved? Get your free e-book ‘Win-Win Loving’ from the Growing Content website.
- Is your unconscious blueprint™ i.e. your internal images, of yourself or others keeping you stuck in past relationship dynamics? Is it time to update, and relate as adults? Read more about this in the book, “The Face Within: How To Change Your Unconscious Blueprint”.
- If you’ve been waiting for the right moment to have ‘that’ talk with your partner, know the right time isn’t the first day of your holiday away! Allowing him/her at least a few days to unwind and relax will give you both a greater chance of re-connecting. Spend those days depositing into your relationship’s emotional bank account, not preparing for battle.
- Allow yourself, your partner and children to play and have fun – create happy memories. This investment pays dividends your whole lives. Pure gold.
If any of the above really resonated with you, perhaps you’ve tried “everything” but nothing has worked, then reach out to Australia’s leading expert in optimising unconscious blueprints(TM), Sue Lester, mindset healer and coach. Life is too short not to.