Are You Missing In Action?
Have you gone missing in action? Yes, you’re physically still present, rushing here and there, juggling home and work commitments. Your family, staff and clients can see your body, but where are you? The real you, inside, the you that was always fun, with a taste for adventure in life – do you even remember how you used to feel? That lightness that comes from a sense of freedom and possibility?
When you are so busy being someone’s something – wife, mother, daughter, friend, boss, slave – it can be easy to become those roles and lose touch with the inner you. The danger with tying your identity to roles is that when they disappear when your children leave home, you get divorced, widowed or retrenched, your friend falls in love again, then there’s nothing much left. Who are you now?
Along the way, your health and self-care may have slipped too as you busily put everyone else’s (including your business’s) needs and priorities ahead of yours. When was the last time you actually looked at yourself in the mirror? No, not the focus on small areas as you clean your teeth or apply makeup, all of you. Have you noticed how easy it is to not actually look at yourself, your partner and people around you when you’re rushing around? No wonder you feel invisible, ignored at times, disconnected. So, what to do?
Here are some easy steps to start with, to reconnect with yourself, and others.
- Smile at yourself in the mirror every day. (Feel silly? Good – have a laugh with yourself.)
- Stop whatever you are doing, and look into people’s eyes when you are talking with them. (but not in a scary way)
- Say no to them more often. People learn by doing – let them learn. You won’t always be around, so stop being selfish. (Ah, you thought you were helping them, right?)
- Say yes to yourself more often, especially yes to healthy choices. (Everything in moderation, including moderation.)
- Ask yourself what you’d love to do right now, and do it. (OK, so you can’t be in Paris instantly, but you can explore it and airfares online, have a glass of champagne…)
- Every day learn or do something new to stimulate yourself. (Drive a different route. Stop at that interesting shop. Stir your tea with your other hand. Learn a new word and use it.)
- Sign up for something that’s just for you eg. a yoga, dance, art, woodwork, skydiving or singing class, a sports team, bushwalking club, a voluntary role with people, animals or nature.
- Believe you are worth it. (Remember, this might be the only life you have.)
- Be brave, moment by moment.
- Ask for help from a professional, for example, a mindset coach, to really clear the fog and put you and your spirit of adventure back into your life.
Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes. It’s your life, your choice, so let go and grow – make the most of it! You’re worth it.