In The News

Sun 24 Sep 2017

HELLO? Is Anybody Home?


In The News
woman at desk smiling

Have you ever felt like this? Like you were in the middle of an awesome story and you need to check the person is listening because they are so quiet? You feel like you need to stop and check their pulse? You may be dealing with a Patient Communicator and how they listen in communication.

In our recent  post, we discussed the importance of being able to listen.  In my Communication DNA Model I teach of the 4 Communication DNA styles.  The Powerful, Playful, Patient and Perfectionist.  

In today’s post I will outline how the Patient Communication DNA style deals with listening. Their struggle is different to the Powerful, Playful & Perfectionist Communicator, but their struggle is  real and can affect Communication.

The Patient Communicator, they are quiet, supportive, generous and love to help. They always strive for RELATIONSHIPS and love to support and see that everyone is treated fairly.  They naturally are attracted to positions of support and help with people.  Why?  Because they love to quietly make a difference.  They do not want to centre of attention or focus, they are happy to be in the background ensuring everyone on is okay.

This Communicator really is a natural listener, but may need to ensure they are actively showing people they are listening as they can be so quiet. You may agree that many of their traits are strengths – they are, supportive helpful, generous.  Wonderful traits, necessary traits.  However, this style can benefit greatly from balancing their listening with speaking up.

The Patient Communicator is naturally someone we seek out when offended , hurt or frustrated as they are so gentle, easy going and easy to talk to. They will put the kettle on and patiently listen for hours.

The unaware Patient Communicator  can have trouble when they get caught up listening to everyone’s issues, this can be stressful and times consuming. Patient Communicators can take on to much of the emotion from others so need to be aware of this and look after themselves.

Patient Communicators can benefit from speaking up and adding to the conversation, although sometimes they feel they don’t need to, they can be very wise and helpful when they do speak up and contribute.

 So, what can you do?

If you relate to this, you have so many strengths so don’t feel like this is bad news…. Not at all, in fact only a few small tweaks are needed to improve the results so you can continue to be such a great listener.

Firstly, be aware that you can cannot continue say “Yes” to everyone without letting someone down, including you.   Your relationships are strong enough to cope with boundaries, in fact it makes them healthier.  A true friend will not worry if you cannot do what they ask, just communicate and they will understand.  You support everyone, it is okay to receive support to you know.

Be aware that your  listening skills are already wonderful, especially when you actively show people you are listening.  However, adding to this, speaking up is a nice accompaniment to being a great listener, particularly when great communication is a 2 way street.  People appreciate it when you speak up and put healthy boundaries in place it shows respect for yourself and others.

If you are struggling with a Patient Communicator, check in with them ask a question for them to engage with you.  Most importantly, allow time for them to answer, they are not quick to jump in.  However, when they do, it can be absolute Gold!  If you cut them off, they may go back in their shell and not speak up again.

Next time we will spend some time explaining how the Perfectionist DNA style has their own struggles when it comes to listening.

Until then Care, Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.

Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.


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