PART 2 Three Ways to Fail-safe Your Prized Relationships – At Home And At Work (6 part series).
It's easier to mend a relationship than to find a brand new one and start afresh. Consider the emotional and financial cost of divorce, of sacking and hiring staff, of 'breaking up' with a joint venture partner.
Are you wincing at the thought? Relationships are to be valued and nurtured to remain gold. There are just 3 key reasons relationships, personal or business fail: 1. Clash in values 2. Unfulfilled love strategies 3. Disempowering unconscious blueprints.
In this 6 part series of blog posts we’ll look at the three in each of the home and workplace contexts.
Part 2: Disempowering Unconscious Blueprints – Home
We each have an unconscious blueprint (internal image) or two of ourselves, and also of others, which can be empowering or disempowering. If your conscious mind was the captain onboard your ship of life, and your unconscious mind was the crew below deck, then your unconscious blueprint is the map your crew are navigating by and using for decision making.
Your unconscious blueprint influences your self-esteem, confidence, ability to relate to others, make decisions and handle stress. It impacts on your relationships, parenting style, career, health, weight and even your ability to conceive. Your unconscious blueprints of others dictate the success or otherwise of your relationships with them.
For example, a 40 year old with an unconscious blueprint of a 14 year old will struggle to control her teenage children, may lack self-confidence and become very dependant within her marriage. Or if her unconscious blueprint is of her chronological age but disempowering, e.g. ‘shy, fat and frumpy’ she will struggle to shed excess weight and stretch herself with life’s challenges and opportunities. She may have a lingering sadness and ‘if only’ outlook.
A woman may have a healthy empowering unconscious blueprint of herself, but finds her passion for her husband diminishes as she picks up after him, complains he doesn’t listen and either lazes around the house too much or is out too much. Commonly in this scenario, her unconscious blueprint of her husband is of a teenager, not the man he actually is. Of course, people often act the way you train them, so it becomes a self-fulfilling situation. In an abusive relationship, the unconscious blueprints will be very disempowered and overly empowered, to the detriment of all concerned.
Parents can have unconscious blueprints of their teenage or adult children as little children and so will treat them as such, either causing friction or financial dependency. These ‘stuck’ images can be a result of guilt and over-compensation for parenting regrets. Or simply a case of seeing childhood photos of them more often than the adult reality. It is also possible to have more than one unconscious blueprint of yourself, as well as of others.
Fortunately, unconscious blueprints can be changed. The first step is awareness, which you now have. You can consciously work at changing your unconscious blueprint, hire an expert, or you can find a quick way to identify and modify yours in the book “The Face Within: How to Change Your Unconscious Blueprint” by Sue Lester.
In Part 3 we’ll explore the impact of unfulfilled love strategies in the home.