Refreshing Your Perspective
We all have our own perspective on things. It is not right or wrong, it is just a perspective.
I like to use this concept in conflict resolution. The two warring parties always come into the room with their perspective. When they enter the room, they think they are right and the other party has done something wrong.
Both sides can’t be right? Wrong, they can, because of perspective.
Our perspective has been built around how we were brought up, what are our values from that upbringing, what generation do we belong to, what are our beliefs, what are our attitudes, where we were born and what we were born into (rich/poor/middle class)?
All these things create your opinions and perspectives on the world around you.
When we are looking to help people resolve conflict in themselves, their workplace, in relationships, we simply get both parties to look at it from the other person’s perspective.
By doing this, we get them to step into the shoes of the other person. From there, you can quite easily see how the other person sees the world and why they did what they did at the time.
It is very difficult to live in the world and have very hard, strict, narrow perspectives, because you will come into conflict at every turn.
It is a much easier life, if you are open to other people’s point of view and can understand why they think the way they do.
It is a much easier life, if you are able to see things from different angles and not be so rigid in your view of the world.
We are not right or wrong. They are not right or wrong. We just need to seek to understand their perspective and then respect that perspective, you don’t have to agree with it or adopt it.
Most of the horrendous things in our world, are because of the different perspectives in religion, politics, medicine, education, war, greed, food, water, environment, parenting, relationships, sexual preference and the list goes on and on. The reason for all these opposite perspectives is to make life interesting. If we all agreed on everything, life would be boring and no challenge what so ever.
The perspective I take for myself, to ensure that I don’t butt up against the hard edges of the world, is to surround myself with open minded, fluid people. People that can discuss an issue and learn within that discussion. Open minded people tend to use respectful communication strategies and are hoping that their perspective changes, because it would mean they have learnt something new.
Even if we don’t choose to accept another perspective, we have at least listened to one and are more aware and educated about an issue.
The evening news presents their perspective each night on the world. The internet has opened our world up and has given us a much wider perspective on the world. However, how does the news help us?
To avoid overwhelm, we need to stay focused on what we can control and influence and limit wasting too much time on stuff we can’t control.
This is my philosophy on life. I live my life by this principle. What can I control? What can I influence? What do I have no control over at all?
The only thing you can control is yourself. Spend most of your time here. You can control your values, beliefs and attitudes to things. If things are working for you and you are enjoying your life then leave those perspectives in place. However, if your perspective on something is holding you back or is hindering your life in some way, then as a therapist we look at those limiting beliefs and change them into something you do want.
You can influence others, but you can’t control them. I believe that we don’t spend enough time developing our influencing skills. Communication skills, selling skills, leadership skills, management skills are really all just our ability to influence others. Now some people are great at influencing others in a positive way and others (may not be aware) that they are great at influencing others in a negative way. Just be conscious of how you are using your influencing skills and develop them any chance you get.
I don’t spend a lot of time, focusing on things I can’t control, like weather, traffic, the past. I spend the majority of my time on things I can control and influence.
A lot of people these days are busy, flat out, overwhelmed and unhappy, mainly due to them spending too much time on things they have no control over.
As a coach, if I find that my client needs work in this area, we list out all the things they have no control over and start to eliminate those things from their thinking. Getting them to focus on things they can control and influence, usually giving them back 40% of their time. And who doesn’t want 40% more time?
So next time at the office meeting, sit back, listen and look to see if you can see someone else’s perspective. Check in with your own perspective. Notice what are the differences and how far apart are your perspectives.
All we have is our way of looking at the world. Let’s be more curious to other people’s perspectives and how we can learn new things by reviewing our position on things.
- I can see your perspective.
- I hear your perspective.
- I understand your perspective.
- I feel where you are coming from.
Let’s just hope others do the same to us and our perspectives on things.
If you are interested in doing the free quiz, to find out your perspective, then send me an email and I’ll send it over to you. Or you can organise your free coaching session to go over the results and see what you need to be doing to refresh your perspective in 2018.